Feeling down? Has ice and snow erased every memory of what it’s like to drive on a clean stretch of road? Are you experiencing an acute deficiency in face-melting explosions, ridiculous stunts, automatic weaponry, and wet-dream-inducing cars?
Fear not, because Toretto and his merry band of street racers are back to cure you of all ills. To get you up to speed, the story picks up after the adventures of “Fast Furious 6,” with the gang settling into a comfortable Southern California lifestyle, records cleared, and content to retire from all that craziness of international crime. But as they say, there’s no rest for the wicked. Antagonist Deckard Shaw, played by Jason Statham, shatters the peace with military-grade explosives and a cunning English lilt, launching our heroes into a worldwide orgy of gratuitous violence and cheese-ball one-liners.
This latest addition promises to be even “furiouser” than the previous six. Expect excess and debauchery, skydiving automobiles, pro wrestling moves, and several high-dollar vehicles meeting the short end of a physics equation.
At this point, I think it’s safe to say that the “Fast Furious” franchise carries the torch when it comes to outrageous action movies. Honestly, what else can you compare them to besides the previous installments? You gotta appreciate that unyielding focus that somehow gets more pure with every new chapter, like some kind of action movie distillation process.
Obviously, winning is winning. Catch “Furious 7” opening day April 3.