Want a reliable, efficient commuter that won’t break the bank? It’s hard to go wrong with a used Honda Accord. Want all of that, but with big-rig-meets-Mad-Max attitude? Craigslist has you covered in the most outrageous way possible. Meet the world’s gnarliest, awesomest, most confused ’98 Accord ever.
The Craigslist ad for this mythical beast is an exercise in understatement and E. E. Cummings–style disregard for punctuation. “[A]lright for sale is something that you will never see again and might have to see to believe,” Jimmy, the seller, says suggestively. It’s an accurate description.
First things first: Yes, those are honest-to-goodness dualie wheels poking out from the Accord’s rear wheel wells. That added width awesomeness necessitates some serious fender-flare action, so as not to mess up the custom black-and-tan paint scheme.
The big-rig theme continues with an exhaust stack that would make a Freightliner blush, tow mirrors ripped from a heavy-duty Ram pickup, and—count ’em—eight CB whip antennas. The bumper-mounted pintle hitch likely has the capacity to tow ten Accords without issue, and the back-up beeper, PA system, and air horn make sure nobody misses you in this beast. Not that anyone ever could. A Chevy windshield visor cuts down the glare from the roof-mounted light bar, not to mention the harsh sunlight of the postapocalyptic desert this dystopian cruiser was built to conquer.
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Who run Bartertown? You will, so long as Jimmy accepts your offer: “there is nothing wrong with the car just want to see if i can sell it for anything. Will trade or consider reasonable offers.”
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