Maldonado answered, at which point Brundle barged in with a question of his
own. It is not uncommon on the BBC for David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan to
pipe up with supplementary questions once Jake Humphrey has had his fill,
but here was Brundle hijacking the conversation at the first opportunity.
Worse indignity was to follow. After Brundle had finished asking his lengthy
question, Maldonado realised he did not have a microphone. Lazenby was
forced to give up his own, and he proceeded to spend the rest of the
interview as a helpless onlooker.
It will be interesting to see whether this is merely an isolated expression of
Brundle’s considerable ego, or the start of a concerted power grab.
Might future races see Lazenby forced to present with a paper bag over his
head so as not to distract attention? Might he be excised from shot
altogether, visible only as an arm holding out a microphone? Will he even
have a microphone by the time we get to Interlagos? Time will tell.
Any lingering doubts that Sky intend to build its coverage around Brundle were
dispelled when he was given the chance to drive a Ferrari around the team’s
Fiorano test circuit. The result, aurally at least, was very much akin to a
52-year-old man losing his virginity in a car.
“I’M HANGING BY THE SEATBELT!” he shouted as he squeezed the throttle.
“FEEL THAT ACCELERATION! LOVE ALL THAT! OVER A BRIDGE! WHAT AN AMAZING
FEELING!”
“What an incredible experience,” he reflected as he pulled up in the pit lane.
“It was over too quickly. The best days of my life were when my two children
were born. But that was definitely in the top 10.”
Based on race day one, it is clear why Brundle moved to Sky in the off-season.
Not just for money, but for a channel prepared to indulge his every whim,
his every urge, his every ecstatic howl. And if ever there was an argument
against 5.1 Surround Sound, then the experience of listening to Brundle
being brought to the very brink of orgasm in a cramped cockpit was surely
it.