Would you look at that – we’re half way through the season already. Well, nine nineteenths thanks to some angry Bahrainis, but that’s close enough for us. What’s important is that with a hefty chunk of 2011 behind us, now’s the time to take a look at who’s been earning their pay and who ought to spend the upcoming summer break clutching the sides of their bathroom sink and staring hard into the mirror at their own useless face. Agree with our conclusions? Massively disagree? Drop us a comment and let us know who you think needs to sort their act out in the second half of the season.
CHAMPS
Sebastian Vettel
Love him or hate him, you have to admit that the blonde bombshell hasn’t put a foot wrong so far this year, going as far as setting a record time on the Top Gear track in his spare time. Well, okay, he’s put one foot wrong, resulting in Jenson Button mugging him for the win in Canada. But that lapse aside, he’s delivered the most convincing title defence of the modern era. For us, it’s no longer a question of if he’ll win another title, but when. We reckon he’ll have it in the bag by the time we arrive in Korea.
Jenson Button
Yes, we know the McLarens are currently level on points, but given that A) everyone thought Lewis would trounce Jenson this season and B) Jenson would actually be in front if only a cack-handed wheel gun man hadn’t put him out of his home Grand Prix, we reckon the 2009 champ is looking good to finish the season as the highest scoring Brit.
Pirelli
Bernie asked the Italian tyre-mongers to spice things up and they’ve done exactly that. We’ve seen more overtaking maneuvers in the last six months than in the whole of last season, and it’s largely thanks to their quick-wearing boots.
David Coulthard
The new boy in the BBC’s commentary box may not be able to say the word ‘Heidfeld’ properly, but DC proved he was worth his salary back in Canada, keeping cool throughout that infamous two-hour rain delay when most men would have broken down and started sobbing into Martin Brundle’s bosom.
The bloke who drives the safety car
After spending the first few races sticking his feet up and eating pretzels, Bernd Maylander has spent more time on track that some of the smaller teams’ drivers. His Mercedes SLS was called out six times amid the torrential downpours of the Canadan Grand Prix – a record for the sport.
CHUMPS
Mark Webber
C’mon, mate. Put the politics aside, get your head around the Pirelli tyre data and show us you can put together a sequence of grands prix that will put you back in the title hunt. You’ve spent a career overcoming the odds – the ball is in your court now, so play it hard and straight.
Lewis Hamilton
We love the guy, we really do, which is why it’s so disappointing to see him driving the sort of scrappy races you’d expect from a rookie. His win in China was impressive, but it’s been downhill from there, leading many to question whether he’ll stick with McLaren next year.
Michael Schumacher
After a year to settle in, we had high hopes that 2011 might deliver a dash or two of the wily old master’s magic. But no – he’s been out-qualified by Nico Rosberg in nine out of ten races so far and currently cuts a very sorry figure at 10th in the championship. He’s already said he’ll be back next year, but we reckon it’s time for Schumi to hang up his helmet and inquire about a spot on Question of Sport.
Christian Horner
True, he’s quaffed more champagne this year than you have Boags, but the Red Bull boss lost a massive dollop of sporting integrity after appearing to issue team orders at the British Grand Prix. Still, props to Ted Kravitz for cornering him after the race and making him look like a naughty schoolboy.
Eddie Jordan
EJ’s pre and post-race ramblings have become almost as amusing as his trousers.
This guy