“No matter how excited I try to sound, my voice still sounds very boring,”
he says. “I’m very happy right now. That’s just my voice. Sorry I
couldn’t be there; I couldn’t have got to the position I’m in if I didn’t
take my training and my preparation very hard.”
Can’t say fairer than that. And that’s your lot, everyone. Thanks for
reading.
21.58 Chris Froome! Wiggo’s not going to like this! Nah, it’s Murray. He
accepts his award from Martina Navratilova.
21.57 In third… AP McCoy. In second… Leigh Halfpenny. And the BBC’s Sports
Personality of the Year 2013 is…
21.56 HERE WE GO. Fergie and Bradley Wiggins will present the award.
21.55 So many great Fergie tweets. Here are three.
21.53 Sir Alex doesn’t just get the full poignant montage; he’s also
treated to an honour guard of United greats, an award handed over by Bobbby
Charlton, some bloke belting out “The Impossible Dream” (honestly,
what a truly dreadful song that is), and a personal video message
from one of his many prodigal sons. “You was like a father to me in a
football!” enthuses Cristiano Ronaldo from beneath his perfect
eyebrows. “Keep in touch!”
21.48 We’re into Fergie time now.
21.44 John Newman, the bouncy-haired singer who opened this evening’s
proceedings, makes his second appearance of the night, this time providing
the soundtrack to a rollcall of sports stars who have died this year. Not
sure about that choice, to be honest; but then what do I, a humble
liveblogger, know about montages? Whereas the Beeb probably has a whole team
of people whose job it is to choose songs to accompany sad montages.
“Isn’t it jolly unfair that Warren Gatland won best coach and the Lions
won best team?” writes Jamie Clarkson. Thanks Jamie; do go on. “Surely
Brailsford or Lendl deserves it more. Dave Brailsford especially does so
much, team Sky, GB cycling etc; all the Lions did was beat Australia. As for
the judging panel…. They do seem to have favourites.”
21.39 Coach of the year: Warren Gatland. He beats Andy Flower, Sir Dave
Brailsford and Ivan Lendl.
Fun fact: Murray’s coach once said the character of HAL, the psychopathic
robot in 2001: A Space Odyssey, was too sentimental.
21.38 Yeah, let’s have an English football montage. Cos, you know, why
not? Put that new kid in it, Andros Townsend. Bit of stirring music, some
bloke talking poetically, and Bob’s your uncle. Top montage.
21.34 Sebastian Vettel phones in his acceptance speech for Overseas
SPOTY. “Good evening Leeds,” he pronounces carefully. Oooh, and
here’s a Bartoli email. “In your face John Inverdale,” emails
David McMahon. “As if it should matter one way or the other, but
Marion Bartoli is looking fantastic.”
20.30 “Next year should be a fantastic year,” says Karl
Froch, avoiding the gaze of the smirking George Groves in the crowd. “And
we certainly hope we’ll see more of you,” nods Clare Balding. But this
isn’t next year; why is she interviewing him now? A mystery.
20.23 The Lions take it.
20.20 We’re just about to get the team of the year award, presented by
Mark Webber and Marion Bartoli. It’ll the Lions, Europe’s women golfers for
winning the Solheim Cup, or Team Sky…
To make up for what John Inverdale said about her, Marion Bartoli has been
granted the right to appear on any BBC award show that takes her fancy.
21.14 Now there’s a touching tribute to Anne Williams, the campaigner
who did as much as anybody in the pursuit of justice for the victims of the
HIllsborough disaster. She
died this year.
Her family accept the Helen Rollason Award, given every year to honour
courage in the face of adversity, from a visibly moved Alan Hansen.
21.05 Andy Murray says a few things without really saying anything.
Suffice to say, he’d really love to win Wimbledon again! I hope you’re
getting all this. Anyway, voting’s open! Vote, vote, vote! I’m not talking
about the X-Factor. I don’t think there’s a law against voting in two
separate TV competitions on the same night, but I’m sure it’s frowned upon.
21.02 Andy Murray’s lengthy toilette is playing havoc with the Beeb’s
scheduling. We get a little bit of praise for Mo Farah before cutting back
to the stage, but he’s still not ready, so Gary Lineker and Murray’s mum
have to fill the time as best they can… Phew, here he is, fresh from the
shower.
20.58 Murray’s in the shower. We knew his preparation for the
Australian Open was going to prevent him from turning up in person, but…
he’s in the shower? He can’t even keep a Skype appointment? I love this guy.
But will his total lack of enthusiasm for award ceremonires mean people
don’t vote for him? (The answer is no, because he won Wimbledon.)
20.55 Oh, Andy Murray’s nominated, is he?
20.50 AP McCoy. Unsurpassed stats (more than 40 broken bones!). An
excellent black-and-white montage. The best soundtrack yet, courtesy of
Johnny Cash and The Man Comes Around. A dapper suit, and a classy, urbane
performance onstage with Balding. And absolutely no chance of becoming BBC
Sports Personality of the Year, 2013. Still, he backs his chances of getting
to the milestone of 5,000 wins; maybe that would clinch it in few years.
20.46 “He should be called Chris Zoom!” guffaws Gary Lineker
after we relive that astonishing ride up Mont Ventoux. Froome, polite as
always, pays homage to his team-mates and dutifully talks down his chances
for next year.
20.40 Amber Hill wins Young Sports Personality of the Year. She’s a
skeet shooter, since you ask. A really good one:she’s the holder of
the junior shotgun world record. She gets her award from those terrifyingly
awesome Brownlee brothers.
20.36 Now we’re reliving Christine Ohuruogu’s triumph in the 400 metres
in the World Championships. Ontsho’s in the leadl surely Christine’s too far
behind! We cut to a sandtimer. The sand’s running out! TENSION. But Ontsho’s
running on fumes, and she forgets to do the gangster-style lean at the
finish line, or she’s too tired, and the Brit pinches it by a few
thousandths of a second. That was an awesome victory, wasn’t it? But there’s
edgy banter on Twitter.
20.32 “Let me tell you a little story about Ian Bell,” says
Michael Vaughan in a slightly deranged kind of way as he tucks into a large
breakfast. The story is about how the batsman overcame adversity (phwoar,
nothing like a bit of overcoming-adversity to give you an edge in the SPOTY
stakes) to come back from a dodgy start to the summer with his first Ashes
century at Trent Bridge. Those bad Aussies were saying mean things about
him, but he showed them. Yeah, we had the last laugh, all right.
20.30 Gary Lineker gets a giggle by pointing out that our Ashes-winning
female cricketers – nominated in the team of the year category – could lend
a hand by heading down under and banging a few heads together.
20.24 Here are the Forbers, who it turns out are the driving force
behind the UK’s best b-ball youth development programme. They (well, Joe,
who did the talking) were great – self-effacing and quick to praise all the
unsung heroes out there who are too unsung to get awards.
20.21 The Unsung Hero Award goes to Maggie and Joe Forber. I’m not
going to lie to you, I had to google these two – that’s how unsung they are.
Anyway, they look jolly nice, I must say. “I don’t know why I’m here,”
says Joe. Come on Joe, you must know really. Tell us. Ah, they run a
community basketball centre in Manchester.
20.18 Justin Rose is talking touchingly about his dad, who died in
June, as he recalls his US Open Triumph while a gloomy but excellent song
plays. If this was a normal year, he’d have a great shout of winning this
after his achievement this year. But, you know, Wimbledon.
20.16 Here are the first lot of candidates for team of the year: the
four women who won
the Solheim Cup in August.
20.14 Cockroft’s going to be signed up by the BBC as soon as she
decides she’s had enough of breaking records (she’s already broken 24). This
girl’s a total TV natural. That might not be for a while, though: she’s also
the youngest of this evening’s contenders, at just 21.
20.10 Two centre-backs. Don’t know what they’re looking at, but it
seems to have confused Rio and made Nemanja feel reflective and sad.
Meanwhile, here comes wheelchair racer Hannah Cockcroft!
20.05 “Your majesty, there is no second place,” quotes Jeremy
Irons, talking over the moody, watery montage dedicated to the next
contender. There’s only one man on the list of SPOTY contenders badass
enough to say that to HRH. Here comes the four-time Olympic champ who
single-handedly led his team to victory in the Americas Cup this year. Read
about that incredible comeback here.
20.00 Halfpenny is endearingly nervous and a little tongue-tied. Logan
joshes him about being voted Wales’s sexiest man. “Some strong
contenders, even in that Lions squad, I’ll tell you that,” laughs Gabby
Logan, who happens to be surrounded onstage by the very players she is
talking about. Steady on.
19.57 A training-field montage, intercut with glorious penalties and an
encomium from Warren Gatland, reminds us that, yes, this guy can kick a
ball.
19.55 Now we all have to remember Wales v England in the Six Nations,
then Wales v Australia. This’ll be Mr Halfpenny, then.
19.52 And here comes a long queue of what looks like every living SPOTY
winner. I began typing names, but really, we’d be here all day, and who’s
counting. Steve Cram’s there, I’ll tell you that much. And here’s last
year’s winner, looking dapper, and also quite serious, what with that sober
new beard. “I think being here tonight, you realise what it was to win
that last year,” says Brad, adding that it’s a privilege to be counted
among this line-up.
19.47 Lineker. Logan. Standard. Oooh, and there’s Claire Balding.
19.45 OK, let’s talk TV. There’s a montage happening. Bolt! Root! Bale!
Errr, Arjen Robben! Meanwhile a young, impassioned man with a haircut is
belting out a powerful ballad. He bends double in a kind of paroxysm of
dancing ecstasy, or maybe he’s got indigestion. Now, I have no idea who this
person is, but soon enough the announcer tells me it’s “Yorkshire’s
very own John Newman!” Brilliant work, John.
19.41 It begins.
19.37 Some love for Froome from a Team Sky team-mate.
19.32 Looking at that table of former SPOTYs, the tiresomely observant
reader might notice something odd about the identity of the first-ever
winner, back in 1954. That was the year of the four-minute mile, and as you
might expect, the award went to a runner – but, as you might not
expect, it wasn’t Roger Bannister. I was shocked when I discovered this,
because, in my eyes at least, Sir Roger’s failure to clinch this award casts
a shadow over his career.
Instead, the BBC, in its so-called wisdom, decided to honour one of his
pacemakers: Christopher Chataway. Here he is, look:
Now, I’m sure this guy Chataway played a crucial role in Bannister’s triumph.
But on the other hand, it was Bannister’s triumph. And, on the other other
hand, what is a pacemaker anyway if not a fancy word for “somebody who
wasn’t as fast as Roger Bannister”? A loser, in other words. And yet
it’s this loser – sorry, Mr Chataway, wherever you are – who is rewarded
with one of the highest honours any public body can bestow!
It’s been almost six decades, but I’m outraged for Sir Roger. Perhaps we
should launch a petition.
Only joking! Chataway didn’t win for his pacemaking duties but for an
altogether more impressive feat: prevailing over his Soviet rival, Vladimir
Kuts, at a one-off Moscow v. London athletics meet in White City, and
setting a world record in the process. Still, odd that Bannister’s heroics
didn’t get him the gong. Maybe he should have done more PR stuff afterwards
to boost his image. If only he’d gone on the 1954 equivalent of Strictly
Come Dancing, rather taking the easy option by pootling back to Oxford to do
all that crucial neurological research.
19.22 While you’re waiting, why not have a browse of this interactive
guide to every single SPOTY? The merest glance at that list,
compiled by the Telegraph’s skilled team of data fetishists, will confirm
something which, if you are anything like me, you have long suspected:
nothing says “personality” like British track and field athletics.
17 winners! Miles ahead of F1 drivers, who come in second with six
SPOTYs. Take that, cricketers! In your face, footballers! If anybody ever
asked me who I’d invite to my fantasy dinner party (admittedly, I don’t know
why anybody would ask me that), I’d just go for a random selection of
British runners active between the years of 1950 and 1980.
19.10 OK then, who’s going to win? I know, I know: any attempt to
predict the outcome of an event as complicated and profoundly multi-faceted
as the SPOTY awards is doomed to failure. Still, this is one diligent
liveblogger you’re dealing with, and I have made every effort to achieve the
impossible. I have done some extensive research into the complex web of
factors which, together, will determine which sporting hero gets to take
home the coveted Golden Thingummy. Then I fed all that data into the very
latest award ceremony prediction algorithm, before tabulating the results.
This is what I came up with.
CONCLUSION: this one’s just too darned close to call.
19.00 GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY! And welcome to live, exclusively-typed
coverage of the most glamorous, starstudded event in the sports broadcasting
calendar!
That’s right, it’s Sports Personality of the Year: The Liveblog.
You know what this means. I’m watching television, you might or might not be
watching television, I’m writing about what I see on television, you’re
reading the things I write about television, and if a single one of you
stops reading, even if it’s only for a minute, my captors say they’re going
to hurt me.
Now you know what’s at stake. So, without further ado, let’s strap ourselves
in to the liveblog rocketship, fill the tank with high-octane word-fuel, and
set a course for Planet Glitz. Stay tuned, folks. Don’t go anywhere. You’re
my only hope.